Friday, July 31, 2009

Oh! The Irony!!!


I just love the DIP, which is an acronym for "Day in Pictures." You can find these in many online newspapers, but my favorite is www.sfgate.com -- and since we got a car theme going, I offer you "Looks like someone needs a tow: Police in Lockport, N.Y., say the driver of this flatbed tow truck was talking on one cell phone and texting on another when he hit a car, careened across a lawn and took a dip."

DIP, indeed. Enjoy.

One Piece at a Time


Johnny Cash didn't need "Cash for Clunkers" -- he figured out a way to get the car of his dreams with a little five finger discount from the boss.

Too bad there aren't any auto workers left in America, anymore. There would be more than a few "Psychobilly Cadillacs" on the road.



"You might say I went to the factory and picked it up. It's cheaper that way."

I remember seeing the original "One Piece At a Time" car in the House of Cash in Hendersonville, TN when I first moved to Nashville.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Don't Judge the Man Until You've Seen the Horse


"Don't Judge the Man Until You've Seen the Horse" - that is my favorite online comment regarding the story today out of South Carolina about a certain man who is accused of "buggery" with a certain horse. You see, Rodell Vereen really has a thing for this horse . . . this is not his first, or even second time caught having inter-species relations with this comely equine. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/29/rodell-vereen-sc-man-char_n_247245.html

I'm assuming that this horse is a mare, but we have no photo of her, and of course her name is listed as "Sugar" (probably a psuedonym to protect the innocent, as victims of sexual abuse are usually not identified in the press.)

I'll bet she is a real looker though . . . big brown eyes, long lashes, shapely haunches, silky tail . . .

A Hell of a "Push, Pull, or Drag Sale"


Apparently Uncle Sam miscalculated the amount of rednecks with old cars up on blocks in the front yard and ghetto wagons, and has run into a roadblock with the "cash for clunkers" program.

Car dealerships are actually advertising again instead of closing down, and hoopties http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hooptie are a new form of currency.



My favorite part is at the beginning of the video when Sir Mix-Alot says "It feels like the old days, back when people was broke, they had to roll in a hooptie!" Indeed it does. Indeed it does. Sometimes I forget that I am broke once more, and have to remind myself that I can't party like I used to. Then I fondly reminisce about when I actually had money and never worried if my checks would clear. Memories . . . light the corners of my mind, misty water color memories . . .

Monday, July 27, 2009

Tony Romo Kicks Jessica Simpson Outta the Truck in an IHOP Parking Lot


Yeah, I know what you're saying. This would be a much better story if it was a Waffle (Awful) House parking lot -- I thought the same thing myself. But it is a National Inquirer story, and the IHOP was in Texas, so that makes it blogworthy.

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/jessica_simpson_dumped_by_tony_romo_ihop_parking_lot_john_mayer/celebrity/67015

What can I say . . . it is a slow news day.

So, apparently this photo was taken in happier times, maybe when Jess and Tony were sharing a rooty tooty fresh and fruity. The thing is, we all know Jessica had always hoped Tony would be shoving wedding cake in her mouth one day, but I guess this was as close as she got.

I personally believe the "Ken and Barbie" birthday party was the last straw. I mean seriously ladies, you can only push a guy so far.

And you know what they say . . . show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a man who's tired of doing her.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Dang, and I was really beginning to think I suffered from Eyelash Deficient Syndrome


Just when you thought it was safe to make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your restless leg syndrome (aka Elvisitis), our elected officials decide to take another look at those strangely fascinating prime time commercials that have us wondering why Brooke Shields can't just buy a tube of mascara like the rest of us . . . Oh, because she is a "compensated spokesperson", that is why.

The New York Times reports that lawmakers have just caught on to what the rest of us know - that YAZ commercial is really annoying, and probably misleading!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/27/business/media/27drugads.html?_r=1&hp

This article is pretty informative . . . who knew that ads for pharmaceuticals are banned in pretty much every country but the U.S.? Imagine all the Lithuanians who sleep easy at night not knowing that they suffer from Elvisitis.

Just in case Brooke Shields is pulled from prime time soon, here is the Latisse commercial that promises "longer, fuller, darker lashes" with only a few teensy weensy side effects like "permanent brown iris pigmentation," or something like that, (which wouldn't be so bad if you had brown eyes to begin with, but I'm guessing fair skinned ladies with baby blues probably have lighter colored lashes and would be more prone to buy this product) -- honestly I was too busy wondering how much they had to pay Brooke Shields to peddle this crap.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dollar Days at the Sahara - $1 Shot and You Keep the Glass!


Every redneck who comes to Las Vegas needs a souvenir shotglass to bring home and add to his or her collection.

I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

The legendary Sahara Casino and Resort has just made my job a whole lot easier.

During their Dollar Days, not only can you play $1 Blackjack, drink $1 draft beer, and eat a $1 hot dog, you can pound a $1 shot, and you keep the glass!!!

I've seen a lot of Casino promotions in my day, but this one is simply awesome. Oh yeah, while you are at the Sahara you can also visit the Nascar cafe, and ride "Speed" -- I know, I know, it is a redneck dream come true.

So Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas and the Sahara, and you may (as Elvis sang) "wind up broke, but I'll always remember that I had a swingin' time!", BUT, you won't go home empty handed.

http://www.saharavegas.com/casino

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Naked Cowboy Throws His Hat Into the Ring


The Big, BIG News today is that the one and only NAKED COWBOY has thrown his hat into the ring and is running for mayor of New York City! It couldn't be as difficult as playing naked in Times Square during a snow storm, or suing M&M's for ripping off your character, so I wish the Naked Cowboy the best of luck.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/showbiz/2009-07/23/content_8464767.htm

You know you are big when the China Daily covers your story.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/entertainment/music/articles/2009/07/23/1247941991176.html

This article includes many of his common sense campaign promises, such as:

"being naked is a whole lot more than having no clothes on: It's about transparency in politics, it's about telling the naked truth.", and

"He also wants to build a Times Square chapel, marrying both straight and gay couples there in a "billion-dollar wedding business that will rival Las Vegas."

As for campaign funds, the frugal candidate joked: "I have no expenses. I own 40 pairs of underwear, a car and a suitcase."

Amen, brother.

Of course, I think New York is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there . . . so I really don't have a dog in this fight.

In fact I tend to agree with Buck Owens that "I Wouldn't Live in New York City, If you Gave Me the Whole Damn Town!"

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Consult a Realtor BY NOW

Too bad I didn't have my camera with me when I was stuck at a light behind this Las Vegas Vanity plate. Yep, the frame really did say "Consult a Realtor" and the license plate really did read "BY NOW".

Of course in Las Vegas, every day the sun is shining is a good day to buy real estate. And yes, that is every day. To prove it, you can pick up the Las Vegas Review Journal and read yet another article by Hubble Smith proclaiming the market has hit bottom, and yes indeed, it is the time to buy. Here is today's propoganda by Hubble entitled "REAL ESTATE: Analysts see prices at bottom Las Vegas home sales surpass pace of foreclosures."

http://www.lvrj.com/business/51386212.html?numComments=44

Hubble has been writing this same article damn near every day of his whole career. Sure he throws in ominous statistics from time to time, but his overall message is the same as the license plate - by now.

What has changed is that everyone sees through his pep talk, to his underlying stupidity. The comments on the RJ website are numerous and scathing. Here are a few of my favorites.

"my, my" writes - "Idiots! Unemployment rate is past 12% and still climbing, and these so called analysts and uneducated and uninformed realtors are blowing their horns again. Folks, brace yourselves, things are gonna get a whole lot worse."

"jcm" writes - "are these the same analysts that totally MISSED the real estate crash ?why should anyone pay attention to these "experts". give me one who called the crash and i may listen to him. otherwise it is a bunch of hogwash to try and get the gullible public to start buying again."

"grumpy" writes - "Home prices in Las Vegas will fall at least another 50%. This third world balkanized mexican colony offers no quality of life worth paying top dollar for the popsicle stick construction of these little mud huts that sit on 1/9 of an acre."

"Eddie Gin" writes - "Anybody want to buy some Ocean-front property in ARIZONA, I have some real good buys. Unemployment is going to go to 20% in NEVADA. HELLO. OH, I forgot Clark COUNTY voted for chairman Barack O'Promises.“The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.”

"BS" writes - "Quit running these BS stories. NOBODY believes them - not even the idiots."

"Obama Teleprompter" writes - "Just some of the words of wisdom from our Realtors and the LVRJ:" National Association of Realtors report shows market rebounding" Jan. 06, 2008"This is a great time to buy real estate, Greater Las Vegas Association of Realtors inducted Sue Naumann" November, 29, 2008"This shows that buyers are realizing that this is a great time to buy a home," Naumann said.January 09, 2009"Real estate is now a good buy in Las Vegas," Dec. 09, 2008"Las Vegas may be among the first markets to emerge from the housing slump clutching the nation as monthly sales have picked up and prices appear to be reaching the bottom, a local housing analyst said." Nov. 19, 2008"Timing is everything, and this is a great time to buy because the value and choices available right now are amazing. Oct 11,2008 Ernest Belair, president of the Las Vegas Division.January 27 2005:Marta Borsanyi, founder and principal of The Concord Group, Newport Beach, Calif., said “location, location, location” has become “timing, timing, timing” in condominium conversions. “There is never negative growth in housing," she said. "Housing is really a utility. We all need a roof over our head.”"Now really is a great time to buy a new home, and we strongly encourage customers to take advantage of our offerings this weekend," said Jeff Galindo, vice president of sales for Lennar Las Vegas 09/20/2008AND FINALLY A WORD FROM GEOFF SCHUMACHER OF THE OF LVRJ:"And so it's a great time to buy, not only because the houses are affordable but because they're certain to rise in value eventually." Jun 29, 2008"

"Downturn" writes - "Stay tuned next month for a "New" bottom!", and finally my favorite comments name:

"bodyunderthehouse" writes - "With a little help from the media; banks are doing a pretty decent job of manipulating the market here. They have the money to sit on homes now, b.c. of bailouts. Homes here seem to sit nicely with minimal vadalism, unlike Phoenix or Detriot where vacant units get destroyed. Infact the more homes they appear to be stuck with the worse they look and the more bailouts they will get. A bulk of the houses they are releasing are the crappy ones. The better units are just sitting, some of them for over a year now! They have soo many homes and the number continues to grow. With 1 in 13 homes in the valley in some state of foreclosure, 75% of LV mortgages underwater and 12.3+% and rising unemployment, now is the time to buy! At this point Im not so sure we will see the $15-$20k a month depriciation we saw a while back, but there are areas that are still losing value despite the hype. Its obvious that the foreclosures will outlast the stickershock. Just as its obvious that the "experts" calling bottom have a vested interest in Realestate."

Yep, we ain't as stupid as we look, and I reckon ole Hubble and his cronies think we haven't seen through their song and dance BY NOW.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time . . .

So anyways, I gotta go. By now!

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Best Things in Life Are Free


It's trite, but it is true. The monsoon season has officially started in Las Vegas and nature is lighting up the nighttime sky. It is better than fireworks on the 4th of July. I took my beer outside to my balcony and watched in wonder. It really makes you think about the big questions when the cool storm breeze and the electricity fills the air. It is such a wonderful break from 110 degree stagnant weather.

"Above the Clouds" by Paul Weller comes to mind.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Unique Style of Bob Tarbox


Today I read the San Francisco Chronicle online and was intrigued by this story.
"Another possible Zodiac suspect put forth" http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/19/MNGA18D3FV.DTL

Having grown up in the San Francisco completely terrified by the Zodiac, I'm always interested in any new developments to the cold case. But what really caught my eye was this photo of Robert Tarbox. This guy has style.

On closer examination I realized that wall of his house is made of concrete blocks. I've always wondered why more houses weren't made of concrete blocks. They are inexpensive, easy to work with, weather resitant, and commonly used for commercial spaces . . . so why are they rarely used for residential construction?

Mr. Tarbox is claiming in this article to have met the real Zodiac killer. One day, while closing up his lawfirm in downtown San Francisco, a merchant seaman entered and asked for legal advice. This man revealed to Tarbox that he was the Zodiac killer, and he wondered what might happen if he turned himself in. Tarbox, the lawyer, told him that personally it would have devastating circumstances. Tarbox, the man, was terrified of becoming the Zodiac's next victim.

Bob Tarbox now lives in Las Vegas, Nevada. If I were to interview him, I would most likely be more interested in his house, than his Zodiac story. An internet search reveals that Tarbox has expressed his opinion on high profile San Francisco murders before - ten years ago Bob wrote the editor of the Las Vegas Review Journal with his insight that greed killed Mayor Moscone and Harvey Milk.

Sunday, December 27, 1998

"The real story
More to the San Francisco shooting than columnist implied

To the editor:
In response to Christopher Matthews' Dec. 3 commentary "Twenty years since murders at city hall," on the shooting of Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk by then-Supervisor Dan White in San Francisco:
For 19 years I went through the same basement entrance to San Francisco City Hall that White used that day -- not because of some sinister reason, but because it was the most convenient entrance to the facility.
I first became aware of Mr. Moscone when he and current Mayor Willie Brown, who at that time were student janitors at Hastings College of the Law, violated a rule of the college and were up for sanctions. Both gentlemen went on to considerable public service. Both gentlemen were consummate political animals.
The following facts are necessary to show how the tragedy played out:
Dan White was a police officer turned politician who believed his burgeoning business success was based on his business acumen rather than his seat as supervisor. Based upon bad reasoning, White submitted his resignation from the board to Mayor Moscone. As a San Francisco police officer, White was required to have his gun with him.
George Moscone was a consummate politician with the board seat completely under his control after White's resignation. Mr. Moscone publicly withheld comment on whether he would allow White's resignation to be withdrawn for pure political reasoning, but he informed the board privately that the resignation would stick.
Harvey Milk was a member of the Board of Supervisors, but junior to Dan White in seniority.
The dance commences:
White is going to city hall to find out his fate with regard to his ill-advised resignation and enters through the side entrance of the building -- the same one I used for 19 years. White has a gun with him, as required. White and Mayor Moscone meet. White is told that his resignation is final. Mayor Moscone has screwed White. Mayor Moscone then asks White about the health and well being of his family. White shoots Mayor Moscone and the "twinkie defense" is born.
White proceeds to his office and finds Harvey Milk there. Mr. Milk would succeed to White's bigger office if the resignation of White stands. White realizes that Mayor Moscone had informed the other supervisors of his decision prior to telling him, and he shoots Harvey Milk as a continuation of the confrontation with Mayor Moscone.
It is my belief that Mayor Moscone tried to get political capital out of the resignation of White. If he had just publicly stated that the resignation would stand on the day that he made his decision, George Moscone would not have died. If Harvey Milk had not been so eager to get the bigger office, he, too, would not have died on that tragic day.
ROBERT E. TARBOX
Las Vegas

The writer is a retired attorney who formerly resided in San Francisco."

For all his experience, and opinions, for me Bob Tarbox is less an old coot looking for a little media attention, and more a cool looking old guy with a stylish pad.

Another Episode of Who Wants to Be a Slumlord Millionaire?



This fantastic piece of real estate can be yours for the low, low price of $10,000.

The latest in Review Journal's coverage of the foreclosure crisis is entitled
"Bottom-scraping prices for foreclosed-upon and bank-owned homes mean bargains for savvy buyers" with the optimistic subtitle "Investors snap up homes, looking to beat possible price turnaround"

http://www.lvrj.com/business/51132887.html

These articles by Hubble Smith always look for the silver lining, and continually try to put a positive spin on Vegas' demise by encouraging fence sitters to buy now. Mr. Smith has been urging people to buy damn near every day for years. In Hubble's alternate universe opportunities are a constant whether the market is peaking or scraping bottom. Lets just say this guy never lets the truth get in the way of a good pep talk. But lately, disturbing statistics have crept into Hubble's pieces. Take for instance this ominous statement "Home Builders Research President Dennis Smith said he's hearing from Realtors that real estate-owned assignments from the banks are increasing dramatically. Some of those are tentatively going to be listed at $40,000 to $50,000, he said."

REOs are increasing DRAMATICALLY. I guess the flood of phantom foreclosures the banks have been hiding are starting to hit the market . . . not to mention all the new foreclosures that are being processed.

Someone seems to have their finger in the dam.

So, will Las Vegas be the new Detroit? Well, I will say this. Las Vegas is a hell of lot more fun than Detroit, and if you can stand a couple of months of 110 degree heat, than pack your carpetbags for Sin City. And if an 1,160-square-foot, single-story home with three bedrooms and a bath, built in 1957, at 1389 Lawry Ave., near Martin Luther King and Lake Mead boulevards is your cup of tea, brother have I got a bargain for you!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

13 Percent Unemployment Equals 1 in 13 Foreclosures


Vegas is a numbers town, and lately are numbers have been exceedingly unlucky.

As this article from the Review Journal attests Nevada now has a 12.3 percent unemployment rate. http://www.lvrj.com/news/51091377.html

Las Vegas also boasts the highest foreclosure rate in the nation. One in thirteen Valley homes have received foreclosure notices in the last six months.
http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/jul/16/nevada-foreclosures-increase-june/

Are numbers at McCarran International Airport aren't looking so good either.
http://www.lvrj.com/business/51091297.html Our year to year traffic count has fallen 11.4%

There are still those in Vegas who say we've weathered these storms before, and we'll come out on top again. I suggest those optimists bet 13 at the Roulette wheel.

As monsoon season approaches and a gullywasher threatens -- hanging low and dark; I have one thing to say - "The sky is falling!"