The Chicken Catcher Wins it All

Kevin Skinner . . . not a great singer . . . not even a good singer . . . but I listen to every word that comes out of his mouth, in a way that not even many of the great singers and/or songwriters can muster.

When he sings songs, I discover those songs, and pay attention to them in ways I never thought I could, or would.

Case in point -- Well, where do I begin? "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith? Overblown cheesy rock ballad in Aerosmith's hands, amazing introspective poignant song in Kevin Skinner's hands.

Shall I continue? Oh c'mon . . . you've watched the shows and the performances . . . in my "Songs I Wish I Wrote" blog, I called Kevin Skinner after his first show on "America's Got Talent" a songwriter's best friend. Honestly, I didn't think I was calling the winner at that point, I was merely pointing out that he interprets songs in a way we haven't seen for many a moon . . . I'm talkin' Dionne Warwick, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Price, and yes, even Willie Nelson and George Strait interpretations . . . no faint praise, indeed . . . but that's Kevin Skinner. A Chicken Catcher from Kentucky.

He doesn't (as far as I know) even write songs like Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, George Jones, Dolly Parton, and yes, I'm going there . . . Hank Williams did, but he does deliver them. He does deliver.

A Chicken Catcher catches chicken, a singer catches songs. Kevin Skinner does both.

Steal a Beer, Go to Jail!

This poor guy just can't win. He loses his job, he shoplifts a beer and gets caught. He then demands to be allowed to drink the beer before he is taken into custody. That doesn't go well.

Can't a redneck get a break?!

Officials: Man demands to drink beer before arrest

BAYOU GEORGE, Fla. (AP) -- Authorities in the Florida Panhandle say they arrested a convenience store shoplifter who demanded to drink the 12-ounce beer he had stolen before being taken into custody.

The Bay County Sheriff's office says the man told the deputy he had recently lost his job of 13 years and wanted to drink beer. The man became combative when the deputy wouldn't let him finish it.

George R. Linthicum II was charged Wednesday with shoplifting, battery, possession of marijuana not more than 20 grams and smuggling contraband into a detention facility.

Bay County Jail officials said Thursday that Linthicum II was in jail and did not yet have an attorney.

He should of just walked into the store, grabbed a twelve pack, opened it up and started drinking one beer. When the clerk, says "Sir, you can't do that." He should've replied "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm gonna buy the twelve pack, but I want to look around some more, and I just lost my job. I guess I'm not thinking." Then he should have drunk some more, and eventually gone up to the register, as the clerk is explaining that alcohol cannot be consumed on the premises. Again apologizing he could fish around for money, all the time drinking, and bemoaning his lot in life.

He probably still would have been arrested, but he might have at least drank a beer first.

I mean times are tough, and I'd be hard pressed to deny anyone who just lost their job a brewski.

Yep, I DATED Joe Bob!!!

I'm not too proud of the fact that I dated John Bloom, aka Joe Bob Briggs . . . you see, it didn't end well (the beginning and middle were pretty fucked up too). But, every now and again I like to check in with his website and see what the ole redneck is up to. www.joebobbriggs.com

I have to admit, after almost ten years this "God Stuff" clip he did for Comedy Central holds up pretty well. Maybe I wasn't so crazy after all. On second thought, yeah, I was crazy . . .

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bloom - God Stuff - Preaching and Shooting
www.thedailyshow.com
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And Rudolph wept.